Totally worth the record

If you actively hold a Guinness world record, you should receive a membership card that entitles you to free Guinness wherever you go. I think this would put more incentive on people doing stupid things for records.

Unfortunately, you'd have to give up the card when some jerk beats your record.

CellulaR phone APPS are overrated

I had an argument with somebody yesterday about cell phones. His argument was that a cell phone is better if it has more applications available for it. Specifically he was arguing that an iPhone is the be-all-end-all of cellular phone God machines and that all other phone technologies are pointless by comparison.

He's an idiot.

So I don't disagree that the iPhone app store is packed full of "apps" that perform a wide variety of functions. But my point is that most of them are irrelevant if you have a device with a web browser that's actively connected to the internet.

His top 3 apps included google maps, an app for managing his task list, and one that was indispensable while looking for a house - a mortgage calculator. But why do you even need native programs for that when you have the backing of the lovable cuddly internet?

Now I'm not stupid. I understand that there are benefits to having code living on your device. Performance, graphics, and a direct interface into the device inputs/outputs are factors you're going to have much more control over in a native application that you could in a web browser, so I don't expect to see a lot of games or media players or unique tools being able to live in the browser, but I really think those are a small % of the marketplace. Looking at Apple's app's for iphone homepage, they advertise a ton of helpful little apps, but more than half of them are already done on the web, and at least if you use the web-based options, you'll have "cloud storage" and some connectivity with the full version on your full screen broadband-connected computer.

The bigger question is, if you're a developer, why are you developing software for these systems anyway? Don't waste your time learning objective C, build a better website with mobile browsers in mind and be happy that you saved a lot of effort AND can reach a wider market of customers.

Sigh-n language

Do deaf Canadians sign 'eh' at the end of their sentences?

"I can see my house from here!"

While looking at some real estate listings in my favorite aerial stalking tool, maps.bing.com, I started thinking....

People spend a lot of time and money increasing the "curb appeal" of a house they're selling, but what about the aerial appeal? Why not target the people using web sites and aerial-focused maps?

So the tip is, get out there on your roof with a can of brightly colored paint and start leaving messages for your audience!

Consideration should be made for your audience - things like "Ethernet Cabled!" and "[good brand of internet service provider] Available!" would be well targeted, while "No damn kits running on the lawn" might not fit the demographic.

Dear Spike TV...

I've noticed a few trends on tv that I think aren't quite taken full advantage of by the more male-o-cratic tv channel, Spike. One observation is that just about every cable channel has their own wedding show. Or on some channels, FORTY THOUSAND OF THEM. So why cant Spike do a wedding-related show for dudes to watch?

Platinum Bachelor Parties. This show has a clear focus on spending ridiculous amounts of money on men celebrating their waning moments of freedom. This can really show anything from Entourage-style hijinks to that episode of full house where Uncle Jessie somehow rented a plane and then got his parachute stuck in a tree.

Say Yes to the Tux. Pretty straightforward - Guy walks into a tux shop. Spends 90 seconds flipping through the catalog. Picks out what he wants. Orders it. Goes to taco bell. WIN. Bonus points if he spends more time deciding what combination of tacos to get than picking the tux.

My Faire Wedding. Medieval-themed weddings at Renaissance Faires! Awesome! "I now pronounce you king and queen. You may now chop the head."

Groomzillas. Giant grooms lay waste to Tokyo. Guest appearances by Rodan and Mothra. Matthew Broderick maybe as the host? Obviously recorded in japanese and dubbed to english.

It's Stereoscopic!

Since 3d video is all the rage these days, now is the chance to patent some brilliant 3d applications while they're still viable. So as a lead off, I think it would a good idea to have...

3D Colonoscopy cameras

Definitely not comfortable... well unless you're into that kind of thing. But think of how much more data you can get with 2 cameras in there!

Coffee Table Book

Baby Got Back
a colorful high-gloss collection of high resolution pictures of babies with preposterously sized posteriors.

Trademark pending.