Dear Spike TV...

I've noticed a few trends on tv that I think aren't quite taken full advantage of by the more male-o-cratic tv channel, Spike. One observation is that just about every cable channel has their own wedding show. Or on some channels, FORTY THOUSAND OF THEM. So why cant Spike do a wedding-related show for dudes to watch?

Platinum Bachelor Parties. This show has a clear focus on spending ridiculous amounts of money on men celebrating their waning moments of freedom. This can really show anything from Entourage-style hijinks to that episode of full house where Uncle Jessie somehow rented a plane and then got his parachute stuck in a tree.

Say Yes to the Tux. Pretty straightforward - Guy walks into a tux shop. Spends 90 seconds flipping through the catalog. Picks out what he wants. Orders it. Goes to taco bell. WIN. Bonus points if he spends more time deciding what combination of tacos to get than picking the tux.

My Faire Wedding. Medieval-themed weddings at Renaissance Faires! Awesome! "I now pronounce you king and queen. You may now chop the head."

Groomzillas. Giant grooms lay waste to Tokyo. Guest appearances by Rodan and Mothra. Matthew Broderick maybe as the host? Obviously recorded in japanese and dubbed to english.

It's Stereoscopic!

Since 3d video is all the rage these days, now is the chance to patent some brilliant 3d applications while they're still viable. So as a lead off, I think it would a good idea to have...

3D Colonoscopy cameras

Definitely not comfortable... well unless you're into that kind of thing. But think of how much more data you can get with 2 cameras in there!

Coffee Table Book

Baby Got Back
a colorful high-gloss collection of high resolution pictures of babies with preposterously sized posteriors.

Trademark pending.

Today's Lesson

Today's lesson is a lesson on interoperability in the Gov sector:

"Its not about who meets the standard, its about who ships first." Everybody else will have to bend over backwards to meet your new variation of the standard. Good luck!

Take this into the private sector? See Internet Explorer... See Internet Explorer Die